IMPORTANT considerations in a LONG LASTING RELATIONSHIP!

What do you want from a relationship? What are you looking for in a person to be willing to share part of your life journey with them? I always ask people these questions and, amazingly enough, usually I don’t get a clear answer!

I believe that love life is an area that a lot of people have difficulties, and not knowing what you want, won’t help you at all! In the end of the day, how can you “do shopping” without a list? And this list cannot be so vague, it needs to be specific!

Even science has proven that the love hormones last long enough until we reproduce, and after that, what is left from the relationship? If you want to get married someday, having met or not the partner yet, there are certain things that you should think deeply about before you commit!

So to help you out with this, today I will share a list of priorities that I consider to be essencial in a long lasting relationship, especially if you want a relationship for life!

Communication

Communication is by far the most important thing in any kind of relationship, and must be two ways. It’s important to be able to communicate your needs, understand the other and be understood.

And it’s not only about talking! According to communication theories, 93% is nonverbal and 7% verbal, so body language, facial expressions and even tone of voice, speak louder than words!

Of course talking is also important because if you want someone to grow old by your side, what else could you do, besides sitting and talking, after life slows down the pace?

The ability to talk about pretty much anythings is very important and must be there from the beginning!

Be Yourself

You need to be comfortable being yourself because, after you live together, there is not much you can hide or hold everyday, in terms of thoughts and actions.

And you don’t want to be with someone that looks down at you, is ashamed of you or wants you to change, and the opposite is also true! You want to be with someone that you admire and that you are proud to have at your side!

Chose a partner that inspires and challenges you, in a healthy way, to become the best version of yourself!

Values and Principles

To have similar core values and principles is very important, and that includes faith and religion even if it’s not something essential for you.

I met many couples with different religious beliefs that didn’t care much about it until they had kids, after children were born, usually it became a problem!

So ask yourself how is going to be raising a child with a partner that has core values and principles different than yours before you commit.

Direction and Speed

Besides similar core values and principles, if you want to share your journey with someone, it will be very helpful if both are walking towards the same direction and have the same speed!

Let’s say that your dream is to live in a farm and have a quiet life away from cities and people, and your partner likes an agitated life and dreams about traveling the world, how would it work out?

Another example, you don’t want children and would like to have your own business, build an empire and make a lot of money, and your other half would like to have a family life with children? Do you understand what I mean about same direction?

If you are not going in the same direction, the journey will be hard because it will be like a tug of war about which path you will follow. And this means that either you find a third path that is good for both, or one of you will have to give up your dreams to follow the other, which might result in sorrows and regrets in the future!

Now about the pace, we all change and we do it in different speeds! Let’s say that you like challenges and growth, and you change fast, and the person that you are dating is settled and loves the comfort zone, can you imagine the distance between you after sometime?

If you don’t walk side by side, in the same direction and speed, probably 10 or 20 years later, you will be very apart from each other.

Imperfections

Last thing I will mention today, it doesn’t matter how much you love someone, probably this person will have something that will annoy you!

We all have imperfections, so just recognize the ones your partner has before you commit, and don’t complain later! Ask yourself if you can live with that and try to imagine how you will be reacting 5 or 10 years later.

It’s unfair to ask someone to change just because you want, so before you reach this point, be aware of your choices!