How to USE your EMOTIONS to GROW, IMPROVE and DEVELOP yourself!

Usually we don’t learn how to deal with emotions and as human beings, we have plenty of them! So today I will tell how you can use your feelings to know yourself better and to improve your life!

When people have very strong negative emotions, they tend to do anything to avoid them, they watch TV, go out with friends, exercise or even drink and do drugs. These things might work as a “band-aid”, but if the source of the emotion is something deeper, it will keep coming back!

Another common way to deal with negative emotions, is denial! Do you know when people keep saying that everything is alright when it’s not? They can fool themselves as much as they want, but it won’t change the way they feel because emotions are very accurate when measuring the level of satisfaction in life!

Emotions are a good indicator about how things are, good or not! You can use them to work and improve yourself, and the way you can do that is quite simple, you just need to recognize that you are feeling an emotion, give it a name, go inside yourself and investigate what’s the cause.

Of course if you are not used to do this kind of inner work, probably you will have some difficulties in the beginning. So to help you out, I will talk about 3 possible causes for your emotions: your thought patterns, your inner child and the lack of alignment with your soul!

Thought Patterns

Your thoughts are responsible for most of your emotions, and to be honest, compared to the other topics I will cover later, this is the easiest one to identify and work with!

It’s easy to identify because as soon as you ask yourself “why am I feeling this way?”, your mind will answer right away “because of that!”, and when the thought comes comes to your mind, you will feel an eruption of emotions!

Many times there’s no way you can change a situation, but you can change your thoughts about it, and this will affect the way you feel. To do that, you need to talk to your mind as if it was a child, questioning what kind of control it has and what can be done, and convincing it to accept what cannot be changed!

To deal with fear and anxiety through your thought patterns is easy because usually they are related to the future, and as the future didn’t happen yet and it’s not real, you have good arguments to defeat your worries and calm down your mind!

Frustration is another feeling easy to work on a mental level because usually happens when things are not working out the way you wanted. So before you give up, adjust your expectations and change your strategy!

Very often anger and stress are related to things that you cannot control, like the system, the government and other people, so what is easier, to change all of them or work on your mindset?

Now, when something small happen and you have a huge emotional reaction, the problem might be deeper, your inner child!

Inner Child

When your emotional reaction comes from your inner child, is much harder to detect because usually it’s triggered by something that happened, and if you don’t know yourself well enough or you are not used to do inner work, you might think that it’s just about the situation!

Let me give you an example, let’s say that you start to date and you are used to receive messages everyday, but for some reason, one day the person gets too busy and doesn’t send any message, what triggers you to experience very intense negative emotions, and soon your mind start to imagine all possible scenarios, including the one where the person will never want to see you again…

Can you see how something so small becomes so big? That’s your inner child’s fear of abandonment speaking! It’s hard to identify when it happens, but if you can manage, it’s a great opportunity for inner healing!

This kind of work is quite simple, you just need to go within yourself, meet your inner child and have a heart conversation, using the wisdom from the adult you are today to comfort and calm down your younger version!

This way, you can work on any kind of childhood emotional wound, and this kind of healing is very deep and might transform you to the rest of your life… but first, you need to learn how to deal with emotions, to know yourself better and to do inner work!

Lack of Alignment

You will know if your emotions come from lack of alignment between your life and your soul when, it doesn’t matter what you do, you cannot change them because they are at the core of your being!

When this is the problem, if the person is not on denial, is easy to identify and hard to work on because usually it requires drastic life changes, and not everyone is willing to do that!

The most common areas where this lack of alignment happens are career and marriage, and after 40 or 50 years of age, is very hard to change professions or get a divorce! And that’s why people use denial to convince themselves that everything is fine when it’s not, because if they admit they have a problem, they will have to do something to change!

What people don’t realize is that the soul is a much higher consciousness than the conscious mind, and if they don’t get out of the comfort zone by themselves, life will push them out of it! And this usually happens in the form of accidents, diseases, job loss, or any other unexpected surprise delivered to you by life!