Why people DON’T GET what THEY WANT in life?!

Why some people get what they want in life and others don’t? Did you ever ask yourself this question? Or are you at least curious to understand the main reasons that help people to achieve what they want? If your answer is yes, then stay around because I’ll be talking about it on this post.

As a hypnotherapist, you have no idea how many times people expected me to put them to “sleep” and sort their problems without them having to do anything. Or how many times I gave directions for people to get what they wanted, but they said it was too much work or too difficult! You see, there are many factors that stop people from getting what they want, but very often starts with their own attitude!

Honestly, I’m not even surprised when I see so many advertisements selling true miracles like “get a thousand followers in a week” or “lose 10 kilos in a month”, do you really think these things work? No! But that’s what sells because that’s what people want! They want immediate result without putting a lot of effort!

To me, looks like a lot of people don’t understand the mechanism behind achievement! They expect that something they want will land from the sky in their lives, without them having to do much! And that’s not how it works!

Let me explain what happens and what you’ll get as a consequence of your actions, in terms of pain or pleasure, in the short and long run. Let’s say that you want to lose weight or get a better job, but you don’t want to stop eating the things that you enjoy every day, or you are not willing to sacrifice your free time to study and learn a new skill. In the short run, you will get daily pleasure by staying in your comfort zone, but in the long run, you will get pain, suffering and frustration!

And the opposite is also true! If you are willing to make small sacrifices every day and endure a bit of pain, can you imagine after some time how much joy, pleasure and satisfaction you will have for getting what you want? Anything that you want to achieve in your life, you need focus and action on a daily basis!

Create a clear picture in your mind about what you want, so you can use it as a motivation. Nobody can take this decision for you other than yourself! And motivation happens when you have more and bigger reasons to change your current actions and behaviors, than the ones you have to continue with them!

Besides everything that I mentioned, you will also need to have discipline and commitment, and what do I mean by that? You will have to set up rules and goals to follow every single day and commit to them, make them happen no matter what, even when you don’t feel like doing!

Discipline works quite well through the pain and pleasure principle, so whenever you don’t feel like doing something, bring your vision back to your mind and ask yourself if you can live with the pain of not achieving that. Then you can argue with your mind about what needs to be done or what you need to stop doing in order to get it!

You will need persistence and time as well because there are no major achievements in life that you can make it happen overnight! I will share this with you so you can have an idea about how some journeys can be quite long!

It took me over 5 years to reach my ideal body shape, almost 10 to learn how to control my mind to the point where I don’t allow my thoughts to make me suffer anymore, and now I’m starting a YouTube channel and I know that might take some years until I get solid results!

Do you really think I enjoy spending over 40 hours per week making videos knowing that I’ll not get any results from them right now? Very often I don’t feel like and I thought about giving up many times, but then I ask myself if I want to go back the corporate world and be an employee… obviously not, so I keep doing it!

I have a very clear vision about the life that I want to create for myself, and I believe in the power of repetitive actions in order to get there! And that’s what keeps me going!

Now if you have all the ingredients (focus, action, commitment, discipline and motivation), and after some time you are still not getting what you want, then you might have different issues!

Subconscious and Higher Self

Your conscious mind is only a tiny portion of your total being. In hypnosis it’s said that the subconscious mind represents 88% and the conscious mind only 12%. And on top of that, you have to consider your higher consciousness, your soul!

If you are taking all necessary actions to get what you want and it’s still not working, the problem might be either the limiting beliefs in your subconscious mind that are holding you back, or whatever you want is not aligned with what your soul has planned to experience!

The most common limiting beliefs that people carry, and sometimes they’re not even aware, are “I’m not good enough! I’m not worthy! I don’t deserve it!”. Most of the limitations that you have are in your mind and you have to work on them, if you cannot believe that you can achieve something and that you deserve it, nobody can prove you wrong!

I have another post about limiting beliefs where I explain in details how you can identify and defeat them, so have a look here if you want to learn more!

But let’s say that you cannot identify your limiting beliefs, no problem! You can still use your conscious mind alone to plant anything that you need into your subconscious! You just need repetition, visualization and win an argument with yourself so you can truly believe the things that you need in order to make it happen!

If the problem is not on your actions or on the limitations of your subconscious programming, then it might be a conflict of interest with your higher consciousness, and that’s a bit more challenging!

For example, let’s say that your soul wants to experience solitude so you can grow and develop yourself but you want to get married and have a family, or one of the topics for your life is poverty and you want to get rich, do you see how these things get into conflict?

Does that mean you cannot have what you want? Absolutely not! Free will is a law and the universe will always respect your choices, even when you make them only from a conscious level! It only means that the journey might be harder because your higher consciousness probably will not help you at all! And when you get what you want, maybe you’ll not feel the level of satisfaction that you were expecting!